Las Frases de Bart Simpson

I will not draw naked ladies in class

I will not waste chalk

I am not a 32 year old woman

Garlic gum is not funny

They are laughing at me, not with me

I will not skateboard in the halls

I will not instigate revolution

Tar is not a play thing

I did not see Elvis

I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"

I will not trade pants with others

I will not yell 'fire' in a crowded classroom

I will not encourage others to fly

I will not Xerox my butt

I will not pledge allegiance to Bart

I will not cut corners

I will finish what I sta___

The Christmas pageant does not stink

I will not sell school property

I will not get very far with this attitude

I will not do anything bad ever again

I will not make flatulent noises in class

I will not belch the national anthem

I will not sell land in Florida

I will not grease the monkey bars

I will not show off

I am not a dentist

Nobody likes sunburn slappers

High explosives and school don't mix

Underwear should be worn on the inside

I will not torment the emotionally frail

"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender

I will not squeak chalk

Coffee is not for kids

A burp is not an answer

My name is not "Dr. Death"

I will not conduct my own fire drills

I will not spin the turtle

I will not fake seizures

I will not aim for the head

I will not spank others

I will not barf unless I'm sick

I saw nothing unusual in the teachers lounge

Funny noises are not funny

I will not snap bras

This punishment is not boring and pointless

I will not defame New Orleans

I will not prescribe medication

I will not teach others to fly

I will not bring sheep to class

I will not sell miracle cures

I will not eat things for money

The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee

Goldfish don't bounce

I will not call the principal "spud head"

Mud is not one of the 4 food groups

I will not charge admission to the bathroom

I do not have diplomatic immunity

The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy

All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy

I will never win an emmy

I will return the seeing-eye dog

Organ transplants are best left to the professionals

My home work was not stolen by a one-armed man

I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr

I will not celebrate meaningless milestones

I will not re-transmit without the express permission of major league baseball

Beans are neither fruit nor musical

There are plenty of businesses like show business

I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers

I will not dissect things unless instructed

I will not whittle hall passes out of soap

I will not send lard through the mail

Ralph wont "Morph" if you squeeze him hard enough

No one wants to hear from my armpits

I am not a lean mean spitting machine

I do not have power of attorney over first graders

Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does

This is not a clue ... or is it?

I will not complain about the solution when I hear it

I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist

Indian burns are not our cultural heritage

"Bewitched" does not promote Satanism

Nerve gas is not a toy

Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things

I will only do this once a year

The first amendment does not cover burping

Adding 'just kidding' doesn't make it okay to insult the principal

I will not hang donuts on my person

Next time it could be me on the scaffolding

I will not strut around like I own the place

I will remember to take my medication

I will not mock Mrs Dumbface